NEWS

Only a few know how to act on this insight. We need to start thinking out loud about what kind of world we are leaving for the past. Tomorrow is an aggressive imposition and the tragedy is it is not necessary. Time control, as developed by J. R. “Bob” Dobbs, allows for multiple experiences of time. Learn to truly Do Nothing – or fill the days with so much Everything others will think you are… strange. Sounds easy? It is! Talk nonsense as satire and for fun, the SubGenius way.

The Conspiracy doesn’t really care what you are doing, who you do it with, or what you think about it The Conspiracy just wants to demonstrate it has the ability to stop you from doing it. It’s never wrong to make claims without exceptions. The Church of the SubGenius is ready to jump start your tired old faith any time… any time! “Not open to debate” is, itself, open to debate – is not open to debate.

The Christian Bible has 273 verses on not taking quantified claims as fact without verifying them. And so does the Torah, AND the Holy Qu’ran! Explain THAT, atheists! There was an infinite amount of time “already” before the physical universe existed, and (in fact) that is what the physical universe was made of. Time got balled up on itself and out popped space. It’s not something coming from nothing, it’s something coming from some-when.

The point of hanging out with fellow members of the Church of the SubGenius is to learn how to endure fellow members of the Church of the SubGenius – and thereby endure all. And enjoy all! Has this ever happened to you? The endless little nagging problems shown in commercials. That is what this planet will be like after X-Day. Endless nagging problems (and robot demons) everywhere all the time. Because all the slack and luck will go with us to Planet X.

Our fifth year, our twentieth issue! Bigger and better than ever. This is the one you’ve been waiting for, like it or not! From The Church of the SubGenius comes “The Dobbstown Mirror,” the independent bulletin of science, faith, news and opinion in the service of J. R. “Bob” Dobbs. Our couriers are even now lofting this new issue to you, the eager and discerning mail-order mind control cult consumer.

You can… read it! You will… enjoy it! And then? You can share it with your friends and family both in person and in MWOWM (“online”). Post a photo or two. Link to our patreon (see below!). Gloat and cackle that you “got in” while rates are low. Let the power-shell of this slack totem burn like a lithium-battery fire in your soul’s heart as you carry out your nameless mission – go on, do it! There’s nothing holding you back at this point, you can adopt the Mask of Normalcy as part of the Most Understood Minority. And all for the E-Z low price of one dollar a month? So far, answer yes!

Let us know when YU get YURS.

DOBBSTOWN PATREON: https://patreon.com/dobbstown