Author: onan

SIN IN SIN SEAR CITY

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

Never tell anyone
What you would do
If you were slightly more free.
Just silently do it
And then all those
Who held you back you will see.

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.” – James Baldwin in “LIFE” magazine (May 1963). When one is suffering, it can seem the world is suffering. Well, let that be true for a bit. If there is net suffering in the world, lessening the suffering of others “counts” as much as lessening one’s own suffering. If you can’t see a way to lessen your own suffering, do something to lessen the suffering of others until some way is more clear to you. Avoid “Savior Behavior” where you lessen the suffering of others for your own aggrandizement (even secretly so). Do it as its own good. FOR “BOB”.

Imagine sharing a delicious meal meal at a friend’s house and, regarding the good food, asking “tell me, what music did your parents listen to?” It’s the wrong question. There are some works of art for which “what does it mean” is the wrong question. Try “what am I going to do with this?”

Some SubGenii ARE like this. And some are just the opposite. Many are a bit of both, mixed. J. R. “Bob” Dobbs sanctions all personality types and behavior patterns. We don’t all “get along,” not even within an individual SubGenius. Who told you that was even possible or desirable? If you are looking for truth and calling it faith, you going to turn over that one rock too many at some point and one or the other will have to go.

The thin line you draw between the thoughts and the actions, the actions and the success, of the people you oppose. They just think a thing and it happens! That line can be thinned down for yourself too. The success of the Bad Guys seems easy because the failures don’t get the same attention. As you fail and fail (and fail) this becomes more clear. They mostly fail too. And then you just think a thing and it happens. Fortunately you’re one of the Good Guys!

“No one should be discouraged, Theaetetus, who can make constant progress, even though it be slow.” – Plato in “The Sophist”

ATTEND TO THE PAINTRILOQUIST

This is the generation of the funniest thing ever.

If you are going to sell humanity to an alien species, DO IT. Don’t hedge, don’t waffle and dilly-dally.

J. R. “Bob” Dobbs will “close the deal” on X-Day (July 5th, 1998). The Church of the SubGenius will be lifted up in glory, and the rest of you, well, it’s not too late to JOIN… The Church of the SubGenius.

Most of the time when I see a SubGenius post about how he or she is FOR or AGAINST a thing, I think about the SubGenius I know who is AGAINST or FOR the same thing. Sometimes they go at it, sometimes each quietly feels (CORRECTLY) that they are the one who is good and just and right.

“Bob” fosters stridency and conflict! If you want a religion where everybody thinks the same and holds hands in peace and friendship, those religions are out there – have at ’em.

“Ha ha ha! This’ll get ’em mad for the next fifteen minutes. I gotta million of ’em!”

Don’t let that old devil trick you into getting worked up about something you saw online. There’s so much better devils, so many other reasons to hate, don’t sell your soul so cheaply.

Anti-SubGenius bigotry by outsiders is intolerable. Only fellow SubGenii are authorized – no, compelled! – to lay into a SubGenius.

If you want to show your hatred for J. R. “Bob” Dobbs and everything he stands for, you must do so from the inside and JOIN… yes JOIN… The Church of the SubGenius.

FREE WILL IS A WEE FRILL

Do you disagree w/ someone? Ask ‘what evidence would you accept to show your ideas are wrong?’ Respect the answer. If ‘I don’t know,’ find out together. If ‘nothing!’ stop addressing religion w/ reason. Be willing to be wrong as well. Find common ground and be glad for it. Don’t pester people who believe differently, even wrongly, if their beliefs don’t harm anyone. Criticize ideas, not people. Avoid speaking of ‘evil’ or ‘stupid’ or ‘crazy.’ Or: do the opposite of these and see what happens. THE SUBGENIUS WAY.

Best policy is to not take your troubles and woes so seriously. There is an end to suffering. It comes when you JOIN… The Church of the SubGenius. SubGenius influencers (sinfluencers) have been exhibiting a shocking level of what can only be called “mind control” over their own lives. Through a fantastic set of almost magical techniques in ‘Tend Like, the miracle of the Short Duration Personal Savior (or ShirDurPerSav), and a direct “B” line to slack, the SubGenius takes over his or her own mental and emotional autonomy! You can’t buy that kind of social credit. But “Bob” can.

J. R. “Bob” Dobbs sold an all-hole belt that he marketed as always fitting no matter the size of the man who wore it. You did have to hold up your pants with your hand while you wore it, & he’d say “ha ha, sorry friend, looks like you lost your belt, here buy another.” Jealous salesman would say he was just selling nothing, that an all-hole belt doesn’t exist. But there were never any customer complaints. THAT is the sales confidence needed in this Planet of the Clocks!

 

MINI-RANTS FOR MAXI-MINDS WITH MICRO-TIME

MONEY TALKS

Billy Batson met the Wizard Shazam in a train station. Jack Frost and Tom O’Bedlam smoked the blue mold in a train station. Certain things are possible if you make the trains run outside of time.

I looked at the task in front of me and thought “I don’t want to do this.” Then I remembered I don’t have to want to do it, I only have to do it. Then I continued the task in front of me.

The reward of being a SubGenius is being a SubGenius. The punishment of not being a SubGenius is not being a SubGenius.

It’s a popular idea that biological functions precede beliefs. But all cultures have (different) beliefs about compulsory, allowed and forbidden foods. Belief about food has precedent before food, even though food is a biological necessity. We are wired for kooky ideas. That’s why you want to become skilled in all sorts of beliefs, kooky and otherwise. You need to both program and reprogram yourself. You need to JOIN… The Church of the SubGenius.

It requires a moment to take a good photo. It requires a moment to hook a fish on the line. But it takes a long time to get to that moment. Regularly putting yourself in situations where persistence and skill are required and luck might happen is one way to go about things. Skipping all that effort and going right to the moment, well, it does happen! The Church of the SubGenius is your favorite guide to luck, fast and slow.